There is a void…
Every year, the awkward lead up to Christmas always serves as a reminder that I’m still wounded, still angry & still hopeful that one day you will both walk back into my life as if you had simply just taken a wrong turn home.
For me, this month is full uncontrollable sadness, which at any moment could turn into a wave of anger. The constant flashbacks & memories, leave me emotionally drained and I get to that awful point where the smallest things trigger tears. When I’m left alone my mind torments me & I spend hours trying to remember the sound of your voices or those things that made you both smile.
The guilt remains unwavering.
I love you Mama….
I love you Stuart….